Coping with Loss During the Holiday Season: Resources and Support

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. But when you're grieving the loss of someone you love, the season can feel overwhelming. The decorations, the family gatherings, the cheerful music playing everywhere—it all serves as a reminder of an empty seat at the table. If you're struggling with holiday grief this year, know that what you're feeling is completely normal, and you're not alone.

Understanding Holiday Grief

The holiday season is often the peak time for grief-related challenges. Research shows that many people experience heightened emotions during November through January, and there's good reason for it. Holidays carry with them deep expectations and memories. We anticipate certain traditions, recipes, songs, and moments that now feel bittersweet without our loved one present.

The reality is this: grief doesn't take a vacation during the holidays. In fact, the contrast between the world's celebration and your internal sadness can make loss feel even more acute. Your feelings—whether they're sadness, anger, guilt, or a complicated mix of all three—are valid responses to navigating a season without someone you cherish.

Why the Holiday Season Intensifies Grief

There are several reasons why holiday grief can feel particularly heavy:

Unmet expectations. We imagine how the holidays "should" look, and when that picture doesn't match reality, it can be devastating. The missing person is suddenly, painfully visible in their absence.

Increased family time. While family gatherings can be comforting, they can also bring up difficult emotions. You might feel the weight of explaining your loss to relatives, or you might feel isolated if others seem to be moving on while you're still struggling.

Financial stress. The pressure to shop, travel, and entertain can add an extra layer of stress when you're already emotionally drained.

Shortened daylight. The long, dark winter months naturally correspond with lower moods for many people, which can compound feelings of grief.

Solitude. Conversely, if you're grieving alone or far from your support system, the holidays can feel isolating and painful.

Coping Strategies for Holiday Grief

The good news is that there are practical, compassionate ways to navigate the holiday season while grieving. You don't have to pretend everything is fine, and you don't have to stick to traditions that now feel painful.

Give Yourself Permission to Do Things Differently

This year might not look like previous years, and that's okay. You have the right to:

• Skip holiday events if they feel too overwhelming
• Adjust traditions to feel more meaningful now
• Say "no" to obligations that drain your energy
• Create new traditions that honor your loved one
• Spend the day quietly, if that's what brings you peace

There's no "right" way to grieve during the holidays. What matters is being honest about what you need and giving yourself permission to meet those needs.

Honor Your Loved One

Sometimes, incorporating your loved one into your holiday can bring comfort. Consider:

• Lighting a candle in their memory during a quiet moment
• Sharing a favorite recipe they loved or making a donation in their name
• Displaying a photo or creating a small memorial in your home
• Starting a charitable tradition in their honor
• Writing them a letter sharing what you wish you could tell them

These acts of remembrance can transform some of the sadness into something more meaningful and connective.

Set Realistic Expectations and Boundaries

Grief is exhausting. Your emotional reserves are already depleted, so be thoughtful about what you commit to this holiday season:

• Limit social obligations to events that truly matter to you
• Let close friends and family know you might not be your usual self
• Prepare a response if someone asks insensitive questions about your loss
• Consider asking a trusted friend to be your "buddy" at gatherings
• Build in quiet time before and after events to recover

Practice Self-Care

When you're grieving, self-care becomes essential, not indulgent. Simple acts of care can make a real difference:

• Get adequate sleep, even if it means skipping an event
• Move your body in ways that feel good—a walk, gentle stretching, or your favorite exercise
• Eat nourishing foods, even when motivation is low
• Spend time in nature or somewhere that brings you peace
• Allow yourself to cry or feel your emotions without judgment

Finding Professional Counseling Resources and Support

While self-care and personal coping strategies are important, professional support can be invaluable. There's no shame in seeking help—in fact, many grief counselors specifically report increased client needs during the holiday season.

How Grief Counseling Can Help

A grief counselor or therapist can help you:

• Process your emotions in a safe, non-judgmental space
• Develop personalized coping strategies for the holidays ahead
• Work through complicated grief or unresolved feelings
• Prepare for difficult family situations
• Build resilience and find meaning in your loss over time

Where to Find Professional Support

Your doctor or healthcare provider can provide referrals to grief counselors or therapists in your area. Many insurance plans cover mental health services.

Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp, Talkspace, or Thriveworks make counseling accessible from home, which can feel less overwhelming when you're grieving.

Grief support groups create community with others who truly understand what you're going through. The National Funeral Directors Association and local funeral homes often have resources for finding groups near you.

Crisis helplines are available 24/7 if you're in crisis:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 (call or text)
• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
• SAMHSA National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357

Hospice organizations often offer bereavement support and counseling services, even if your loved one didn't receive hospice care. Many are free or low-cost.

Your place of worship may have pastoral counseling or grief support resources available.

The Dinner Party (thedinnerparty.org) is an excellent resource for young adults grieving, offering both virtual and in-person support.

GriefShare is a video-based support group program available at many churches and community centers.

Finding Local Resources

When searching for counseling resources, look for:

• Licensed therapists (LCSW, LPC, or psychologist)
• Counselors with specific grief or bereavement training
• Providers who offer flexible scheduling, including evenings or weekends
• Sliding scale fees if cost is a concern
• Telehealth options for convenience

The Gift of Community

One of the most powerful things you can do during holiday grief is lean on your community. This might mean:

• Reaching out to friends and letting them know what you need
• Accepting help when it's offered—meals, errands, or simply someone to sit with
• Spending time with people who knew your loved one and can share memories
• Joining a grief support group, even if just for the season
• Volunteering or helping others, which can provide purpose and connection

Don't underestimate the power of simply being around people who care about you. You don't have to process your grief alone.

Remember: Grief Is Love

The depth of your grief reflects the depth of your love. The pain you're feeling this holiday season is a testament to how much your loved one meant to you. That loss is real, valid, and deserves to be honored.

As you move through this holiday season, be gentle with yourself. Some days will be harder than others. You might find unexpected moments of joy alongside the sadness—and that's okay too. Grief isn't linear, and the holidays don't erase the complexity of what you're feeling.

If you're struggling and need support, please reach out. Whether it's to a friend, a counselor, a support group, or a crisis line, you deserve compassionate care during this difficult time. Your local funeral home can also be an important resource—we understand grief and can often connect you with the support services you need.

You're not alone in your holiday grief. And while this season might feel different and more painful than you anticipated, there is care, support, and understanding available to you.